This One is for Me

This is sort of a post just for me.  Mostly a theraputic rant. :)

When Maverick heard the monthly tornado siren test this morning he said, "BIRETRUCK! BIRETRUCK!"  I had to laugh because the kid LOVES his firetrucks.  And the fact that just about every other time he has heard those sirens its been in the middle of the night and slept right through it.

I almost took him to my work this morning because its fire safety week, and they had TWO firetrucks there.  I'm sorry--one firetruck and one fire engine.  (One learns a lot about these things when their toddler is obsessed with them, ha!).  He probably would've passed out from excitement!

I am so thankful that my job allows me to work a split shift, and I get to be home with Mav almost all of the day.  I work in the early morning when he's sleeping, and in the afternoon when he (for the most part) takes a nap.  Plus, it gives his Nana and Grandma a few hours a day to love on him.

I'm trying to work my next thought very carefully.  I don't want to diminish or belittle my husband AT ALL.  My goal is to lift him up and honor the incredible, selfless, awesome, amazing, and exhausting things he does to provide for us.  Robbie is beyond talented in what he does, and goes WAY past what is expected of him at work.  He is one of the hardest workers out there.  There is just no way to describe his awesomeness.  He is the best.  And I'm the luckiest girl to have him. :)

With that said, the industry in which he works doesn't exactly...how do I say it...have a high profit yield?  Sort of like being a school teacher: you do it because you love it--and not for the paycheck.  So I have to work as well.  Mostly for the incredible insurance I get through my work, that his small company can't offer.

I dream of being a full time stay-at-home mom.  But for now, this is what God has called me to do.  Sometimes I look upon all my SAHM friends with tons of envy, but then I'm reminded that is their story, where God has them on their journey...just like I'm on my own He has set for me and I don't want to miss the blessings He has in store for me.  I am beyond blessed to have a job that I love, and get to do what I love, and still be the #1 mommy to my son as well.  It gets pretty rough, but with God's help its making me stronger.

The downside is always being so exhausted.  I feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred directions some days.  Because I have to get up so early for work, and wait until Mav goes to sleep to get some other stuff done, I hardly get 6 hours of sleep everyday.  Or like today, I felt awful because I had a lot of paperwork to get done before returning to work in the afternoon and I had to keep one hand on the keyboard and one hand on a hotwheel...and Mav kept pulling my hand off the keyboard wanting my full attention.

Being the cleaning lady is one of my hats.  I feel victorious that I manage to sort of stay on top of laundry, dishes, and keeping the house decent.  Decent relative to toys strewn about all day. :)  By the way--what is it about kids never wanting to play with something until you're trying to clean it up?!  I save cleaning the front room for when Mav goes to sleep, ha!

I love that I get home from my early morning shift in time to greet Mav as he wakes up.  Then we get almost a whole day to play trucks, read a million books, color pictures, eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, go to the park, run errands, and have FUN.

I do have to admit it is nice when he, or I, am having a bad day it is nice to leave him in the afternoons with one of the grandmas for a change of scenery.  Grandmas are the best!  I come back a few hours later recharged and so does he.

But leaving him for a few hours in the afternoon is still hard sometimes.  Just the other day I teared up when I drove away and he was waving bye-bye to me in the big window.  It's just that he is only this little for such a short time, and I don't want to miss a minute of it. 

Okay.  Thanks for sticking around and enduring my back-and-forth thoughts.  I feel better now. ;)