Today is my 29th birthday, and I wanted to finally publish Sawyer's birth story. I don't want to forget all the little details I want to remember for years to come. It was such an incredible journey. Especially now, knowing how precious of a moment it was for all of us...especially my Mom.
Let's see...I guess it all starts the morning of November 13th...
I had my weekly ob appointment scheduled that morning. I was excited to find out if I had progressed since the week before. I had been 4cm dilated and 60% effaced for 2 weeks (talk about going crazy!!!) After a check she told me I was 5cm and still about 60%. She asked me if I wanted her to strip my membranes, and we discussed it for a bit. I didn't want to unnecessarily provoke things if my body wasn't ready. She explained that stripping membranes doesn't trigger labor unless conditions are ripe. If my body was ready then it would start labor in the next 12-24 hrs, but if not--the membranes would re-seal and more waiting. So I figured...what the heck, if it's time...it's time!
Last maternity/belly picture, sniffle sniffle! Taken right after my OB apt that morning:
That afternoon my contractions became stronger and more organized. It was enough that I didn't go back to work for the second leg of my split shift. I tried keeping myself busy at home doing all sorts of cleaning and getting ready for the big event. For whatever reason, I was so paranoid about being stocked up on paper products--toilet paper, paper towels, etc, etc, ha ha! Because you know, we don't live anywhere near a store that Robbie could run to?!
Robbie also took that afternoon off since we were on a high alert...of sorts...even though it still could have been a week or two until the big show. After cleaning the house and getting all of our last minute things done, we snuck out for a "possibly last meal before baby #2 comes" at Olive Garden. I went ahead and splurged on a carbalicious dinner. As a joke, Robbie made a status on Facebook saying "Jenni dropped her croutons" when I had, in fact, dropped the croutons from my salad on the floor. He giggled with glee at the prospect of false alarming everyone. Little did we know...it was during that dinner that I went to the restroom and realized that the baby would be coming sooner rather than later...
By about 6pm, contractions were getting stronger--enough to start timing--and they were about 5 to 7 min apart. Still not painful enough to completely stop me in my tracks, but nothing to ignore either. Those symptoms plus some other ones kept me pondering if I should go to the hospital or not. That morning during my office visit, the doc told me to go straight to the hospital after office hours if I was experiencing said symptoms, especially since that night she was going to be there on-call anyways.
So once we decided to head to the hospital, we stopped by to say hi to Mav. Maverick was already at my in-laws house (so we could get our last minute stuff done). Which was SOOO emotional for me, for whatever reason. Of course I knew he was in good hands. He loves his Nana and Papa ever-so-much, and spends lots of time with them, including a night over or two. But I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out as we drove away and he waved to us from the window. I think I was just overwhelmed with the thought of a little brother coming home for him.
Upon our arrival at the hospital, we learned that I was still only 5cm/60%. They hooked me up for contraction monitoring for an hour observation and we'd go from there.
What I loved the most about my doctor (and my nurses) is that I was in control of calling the shots. Take this for what you will--I'm not a hardcore granola momma. Those of you that know what I'm talking about are probably laughing. For my dad (and others) who may not know what it means--it's when ladies are super emphatic about doing everything as natural as possible (to the ultimate extremes).
I'm a big fan of whatever works best for you. If you are a super hardcore granola momma--awesome. If you aren't--that's awesome too. I'm not one to hold anything against anyone, because for goodness sakes--it's your life, not mine, ha! For me--I wanted to do things as natural as possible but still enjoy the wonder of the epidural.
With Maverick my water had broken before contractions ever started, so by the time I got to the hospital they (not the docs I have now) were very concerned that I wasn't progressing with my water being broken for over 8 hours. So I ended up having Pitocin...which made for a hard, fast, painful labor. In turn, the epidural they gave me was so strong that I couldn't feel anything at all, not even to push. So after almost 3 hours of trying to push, they were planning on using a vacuum but thankfully it didn't come to that.
Annnnnnyways, all that eluded to wanting to be more in control of this labor and delivery experience. So back to Sawyer. We tried walking up and down the halls of the hospital for a few hours, with checks in between, and--nothing. Actually, walking so much made my contractions slow down. So my doctor gave me a few choices: go home; stay and keep walking to my heart's content; break my water; or start a Pitocin drip. At this point I was feeling so defeated...and silly. This was a new mom's rookie mistake--or so I thought. Also, I felt bad for having Mav stay with my in-laws for no reason (which looking back at now, I know is silly. But it was huge for me in the moment.).
We decided to go home. Walking obviously wasn't progressing things. I didn't want her to break my water at that point, because if I didn't progress after that, then they would do Pitocin. By now it was around 2 or 3am. I'd love to say that once we got home, I had a blissful night's sleep. But I barely got a wink because I had the most AWFUL cramps all night long. I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable but I was mis-er-ab-le.
The next morning, the 14th, I didn't exactly feel like it was going to be the Big Day. Especially coming off the disappointment of the previous night. But by golly--those darn contractions amped up again! By mid-afternoon it was time to call in the big-guns: my sister-in-law Johanna who is a doula. I've told her this a million times--we should have paid her for her services, haha! She was SO kind enough to spend her entire afternoon with me. She brought over an exercise ball (aka birthing ball) and I rocked on that thing for hours. (I totally meant to take a picture of her rocking Maverick on the other ball she brought, it was so funny!) She also showed me and Robbie lots of different laboring techniques and ways to massage away contraction pain, and helped me time contractions on my phone app:
Per her advice, we would keep track of a few and then take a break so that I wouldn't hyperfocus on them. (Hence the 66 minute frequency mark, ha!) By about 5pm, I was breathing through some pretty intense contractions and alerted the village that this baby was well on his way! We left Mav with Johanna, who eventually took him over to my MIL Patty's house. This time I was in TOO much pain to be emotional, haha!
The car ride. OH MY WORD. It was unbearable. Since I had to be sitting, it made breathing/working through contractions extremely painful. Like--I was ready to punch my fist through the window in hopes that my broken, cut up hand would distract me from the pain, ha! Plus--we were stuck in rush hour traffic at 5:30pm on the Maryland Heights Expressway. Up the road a bit was a police officer and someone he had pulled over. If we had to sit in traffic any longer, I was ready to crawl my way up to his patrol car and beg for an escort!
A little after 6pm, we were finally in our room and ready. The nurse checked me and I was 6cm/70% effaced with "a bulging bag of water". To which Robbie giggled and said, "Um, what?" My actual doc wasn't on call that evening, but the other doc of the practice was (I had seen both of them throughout my pregnancy, and love them both!). She had gently reminded me that if I wanted an epidural, that I wouldn't have much time to make that call at this point.
No, I'm not pretending, ha!
After this was taken, it was no more pictures and all business. I was crying so hard, but still working through contractions. The nurses were so sweet and kept encouraging me by telling me how awesome I was doing in comparison to their other patients. I'm sure they tell ALL their patients that, but it made me feel better. :)
I started begging for the epidural and Robbie kept encouraging me to hold out until 7pm. I don't know why he stuck on that time...but it worked, haha! At 7pm, after another check, I was 7cm/80% effaced. A goal I had set was to make it to 7cm before getting the epidural. I know this probably isn't true, but for me reaching 7cm meant that I was in Transition and an epidural wouldn't slow anything down.
Finally, sweet relief! :)
The epidural was awesome. Just enough to take the pain away, but I could definitely still feel the urge to push. The only downside is that it made me SOOO cold! I was shaking and chattering my teeth uncontrollably. Later, one of my nurses told me it was because the medicine was kept in the refrigerator, ha!
Around 8pm, the doctor broke my water. And by 9:30 I was 9.5-10cm with just a tiny bit of cervix left! So they started rolling in the delivery equipment, yay!!!
At 10:15pm we were all set up and ready to push, and my nurse said the baby would be here by 10:30. Robbie and I both were like, "Whaaah? No way." Because it took me almost 3 hours to push Mav out. She very confidently reiterated her 10:30 mark with a smile.
Barring financial and logistical reality--I could totally birth 12 more babies if they all went as great as this one did! Pushing was so productive, yet not painful. I could feel my body doing what it was supposed to be doing, but no pain. I should make it a point to recommend my anesthesiologist to get a raise, haha!
About 4ish pushes later, at 10:32pm, Sawyer Nathan Clark was in my arms!
All I could say over and over was, "Hi! Hi! Hi little guy! Hi! Hi! Hi!" To have him in my arms immediately after birth was a totally new experience to me as well. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. With Maverick, they had to whisk him away immediately because he was having trouble breathing from being in the birth canal for so long. I got to help clean Sawyer off and rub him until he made his first cry, which was indescribable.
Sawyer Nathan Clark
7 lb 12 oz, 20 inches
Both Robbie and I thought right away he looked so tiny! We thought for sure he was only going to be like 6 pounds. I guess your baby size awareness gets uncalibrated when you're used to a bigger than average sized 3 year old. :)
The very best part of the evening was Skyping with my parents. My Mom wanted to be at the hospital so very badly, but as time went by and her condition progressed we knew that wouldn't be a possibility. So we set up Skype on my Dad's tablet and we video chatted shortly after Sawyer was born. Man, technology is amazing and I feel so blessed to be alive at a time when instant video chatting is easily accessible.
The first thing I told my Mom was, "You were right!! You were right!! Look at all his dark hair!!" I guess it was about a month or so before I was due when my Mom told me that she had a dream about Sawyer, and that she saw him vividly in her dream. She told me that he had lots of dark hair and he looked like me when I was a baby. At the time I was like, "Ummm sure Mom, whatever..." and kept it in the back of my mind.
...It's almost too hard to type this now...I have a huge painful lump in my throat and tears are running down my face...I just don't even have words. He has tons of dark hair and everyone, specifically those that knew me as a baby say, "he is Jenni made over". My Mom was so anxious to meet Sy, and one of her biggest concerns was to see him born and hold him. I don't know why God allowed her to see Sawyer in her dream, and won't know for sure until I'm in Heaven. But I do believe that she did. Maybe it was God comforting her and giving her strength to endure until He called her home exactly 2 weeks after he was born? ....... In any case, I do fully believe that God can speak to ordinary people in their dreams.
In God's perfect timing, Sawyer came 2 weeks early. If I would have gone to my due date, I would have still been in the hospital when Mom lost consciousness.
Every chance we could, we visited her. We had to schedule around chemo and radiation, and keep in mind how exhausted she was from the unprecedented treatments. But she was adamant that nothing was going to stop her from seeing her grandbabies! :)
Her Mommy words of wisdom have been resonating in my mind. Even before we got pregnant with Sawyer, I would gab with my Mom about how I was nervous to have another baby. I felt like I wouldn't be able to handle a toddler and a newborn, since life was already pretty crazy (or so it seemed) with Mav. To calm my fears (and guarantee another grandbaby, haha) she would always say, "You'd be surprised what you can do. You'll figure it out."
I don't know if Sawyer is an easier baby, or if I'm just not nearly as stressed out about taking care of a newborn this time...but taking care of both my boys has been a relatively smooth transition. Maybe it all started off on the right foot since Sy "gave" Mav a big brother present at the hospital--a Lego garbage truck. :)
Mav has been a super awesome big brother. He is so loving toward him and is always saying things like, "Aw, look at that pretty baby" and "Baby Sawyer don't cry". Often when I leave the room and come back, Mav is trying to snuggle with him. He asks me all the time to lay the baby next to him while he is playing on the floor so they can play together.
For me, it only gets difficult when both boys need something at the same time. While I'm trying to nurse the baby, Mav is usually begging for me to play with him or get him food. I wonder if I'm the only mom who has nursed a baby while playing Connect Four? Lol! And you know what else I've figured out? The baby is okay if he cries until I tend to Mav's needs first, and Mav is okay if he cries until I tend to the baby's needs first.
I just figure it out.
