Sawyer's Birth Story

Wow, so I didn't realize when I sat down to finish this post that I started writing this exactly a month ago...November 27th.  To say my life has been completely turned upside down since then would be an understatement.  I've avoided blogging because my emotions are still pretty raw.  Writing has always been my therapy, so every time I try to post something...anything...it's still too hard.  I've kept a handwritten diary since I was 11 years old, and I haven't been able to write since November 28th; the morning my Mom lost consciousness.  Someday I'll be able to get through it.  I need to.  One step at a time. 

Today is my 29th birthday, and I wanted to finally publish Sawyer's birth story.  I don't want to forget all the little details I want to remember for years to come.  It was such an incredible journey.  Especially now, knowing how precious of a moment it was for all of us...especially my Mom.

Let's see...I guess it all starts the morning of November 13th...

I had my weekly ob appointment scheduled that morning. I was excited to find out if I had progressed since the week before. I had been 4cm dilated and 60% effaced for 2 weeks (talk about going crazy!!!) After a check she told me I was 5cm and still about 60%. She asked me if I wanted her to strip my membranes, and we discussed it for a bit. I didn't want to unnecessarily provoke things if my body wasn't ready. She explained that stripping membranes doesn't trigger labor unless conditions are ripe. If my body was ready then it would start labor in the next 12-24 hrs, but if not--the membranes would re-seal and more waiting. So I figured...what the heck, if it's time...it's time!

Last maternity/belly picture, sniffle sniffle! Taken right after my OB apt that morning:

That afternoon my contractions became stronger and more organized. It was enough that I didn't go back to work for the second leg of my split shift.  I tried keeping myself busy at home doing all sorts of cleaning and getting ready for the big event.  For whatever reason, I was so paranoid about being stocked up on paper products--toilet paper, paper towels, etc, etc, ha ha!  Because you know, we don't live anywhere near a store that Robbie could run to?!

Robbie also took that afternoon off since we were on a high alert...of sorts...even though it still could have been a week or two until the big show.  After cleaning the house and getting all of our last minute things done, we snuck out for a "possibly last meal before baby #2 comes" at Olive Garden.  I went ahead and splurged on a carbalicious dinner.  As a joke, Robbie made a status on Facebook saying "Jenni dropped her croutons" when I had, in fact, dropped the croutons from my salad on the floor.  He giggled with glee at the prospect of false alarming everyone.  Little did we know...it was during that dinner that I went to the restroom and realized that the baby would be coming sooner rather than later...

By about 6pm, contractions were getting stronger--enough to start timing--and they were about 5 to 7 min apart.  Still not painful enough to completely stop me in my tracks, but nothing to ignore either.    Those symptoms plus some other ones kept me pondering if I should go to the hospital or not.  That morning during my office visit, the doc told me to go straight to the hospital after office hours if I was experiencing said symptoms, especially since that night she was going to be there on-call anyways.

So once we decided to head to the hospital, we stopped by to say hi to Mav.  Maverick was already at my in-laws house (so we could get our last minute stuff done).  Which was SOOO emotional for me, for whatever reason.  Of course I knew he was in good hands.  He loves his Nana and Papa ever-so-much, and spends lots of time with them, including a night over or two.  But I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out as we drove away and he waved to us from the window.  I think I was just overwhelmed with the thought of a little brother coming home for him.

Upon our arrival at the hospital, we learned that I was still only 5cm/60%.  They hooked me up for contraction monitoring for an hour observation and we'd go from there.

What I loved the most about my doctor (and my nurses) is that I was in control of calling the shots.  Take this for what you will--I'm not a hardcore granola momma.  Those of you that know what I'm talking about are probably laughing.  For my dad (and others) who may not know what it means--it's when ladies are super emphatic about doing everything as natural as possible (to the ultimate extremes). 

I'm a big fan of whatever works best for you.  If you are a super hardcore granola momma--awesome.  If you aren't--that's awesome too.  I'm not one to hold anything against anyone, because for goodness sakes--it's your life, not mine, ha!  For me--I wanted to do things as natural as possible but still enjoy the wonder of the epidural. 

With Maverick my water had broken before contractions ever started, so by the time I got to the hospital they (not the docs I have now) were very concerned that I wasn't progressing with my water being broken for over 8 hours.  So I ended up having Pitocin...which made for a hard, fast, painful labor.  In turn, the epidural they gave me was so strong that I couldn't feel anything at all, not even to push.  So after almost 3 hours of trying to push, they were planning on using a vacuum but thankfully it didn't come to that.

Annnnnnyways, all that eluded to wanting to be more in control of this labor and delivery experience.  So back to Sawyer.  We tried walking up and down the halls of the hospital for a few hours, with checks in between, and--nothing.  Actually, walking so much made my contractions slow down.  So my doctor gave me a few choices: go home; stay and keep walking to my heart's content; break my water; or start a Pitocin drip.  At this point I was feeling so defeated...and silly.  This was a new mom's rookie mistake--or so I thought.  Also, I felt bad for having Mav stay with my in-laws for no reason (which looking back at now, I know is silly. But it was huge for me in the moment.).

We decided to go home.  Walking obviously wasn't progressing things.  I didn't want her to break my water at that point, because if I didn't progress after that, then they would do Pitocin.  By now it was around 2 or 3am.  I'd love to say that once we got home, I had a blissful night's sleep.  But I barely got a wink because I had the most AWFUL cramps all night long.  I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable but I was mis-er-ab-le.

The next morning, the 14th, I didn't exactly feel like it was going to be the Big Day.  Especially coming off the disappointment of the previous night.  But by golly--those darn contractions amped up again!  By mid-afternoon it was time to call in the big-guns: my sister-in-law Johanna who is a doula.  I've told her this a million times--we should have paid her for her services, haha!  She was SO kind enough to spend her entire afternoon with me.  She brought over an exercise ball (aka birthing ball) and I rocked on that thing for hours. (I totally meant to take a picture of her rocking Maverick on the other ball she brought, it was so funny!)  She also showed me and Robbie lots of different laboring techniques and ways to massage away contraction pain, and helped me time contractions on my phone app:

Per her advice, we would keep track of a few and then take a break so that I wouldn't hyperfocus on them. (Hence the 66 minute frequency mark, ha!)  By about 5pm, I was breathing through some pretty intense contractions and alerted the village that this baby was well on his way!  We left Mav with Johanna, who eventually took him over to my MIL Patty's house.  This time I was in TOO much pain to be emotional, haha!

The car ride.  OH MY WORD.  It was unbearable.  Since I had to be sitting, it made breathing/working through contractions extremely painful.  Like--I was ready to punch my fist through the window in hopes that my broken, cut up hand would distract me from the pain, ha!  Plus--we were stuck in rush hour traffic at 5:30pm on the Maryland Heights Expressway.  Up the road a bit was a police officer and someone he had pulled over.  If we had to sit in traffic any longer, I was ready to crawl my way up to his patrol car and beg for an escort! 

A little after 6pm, we were finally in our room and ready.  The nurse checked me and I was 6cm/70% effaced with "a bulging bag of water".  To which Robbie giggled and said, "Um, what?"  My actual doc wasn't on call that evening, but the other doc of the practice was (I had seen both of them throughout my pregnancy, and love them both!).  She had gently reminded me that if I wanted an epidural, that I wouldn't have much time to make that call at this point.

No, I'm not pretending, ha!

After this was taken, it was no more pictures and all business.  I was crying so hard, but still working through contractions.  The nurses were so sweet and kept encouraging me by telling me how awesome I was doing in comparison to their other patients.  I'm sure they tell ALL their patients that, but it made me feel better. :) 

I started begging for the epidural and Robbie kept encouraging me to hold out until 7pm.  I don't know why he stuck on that time...but it worked, haha!  At 7pm, after another check, I was 7cm/80% effaced.  A goal I had set was to make it to 7cm before getting the epidural.  I know this probably isn't true, but for me reaching 7cm meant that I was in Transition and an epidural wouldn't slow anything down.

Finally, sweet relief! :)

The epidural was awesome.  Just enough to take the pain away, but I could definitely still feel the urge to push.  The only downside is that it made me SOOO cold!  I was shaking and chattering my teeth uncontrollably.  Later, one of my nurses told me it was because the medicine was kept in the refrigerator, ha!

Around 8pm, the doctor broke my water.  And by 9:30 I was 9.5-10cm with just a tiny bit of cervix left!  So they started rolling in the delivery equipment, yay!!!

At 10:15pm we were all set up and ready to push, and my nurse said the baby would be here by 10:30.  Robbie and I both were like, "Whaaah? No way."  Because it took me almost 3 hours to push Mav out.  She very confidently reiterated her 10:30 mark with a smile.

Barring financial and logistical reality--I could totally birth 12 more babies if they all went as great as this one did!  Pushing was so productive, yet not painful.  I could feel my body doing what it was supposed to be doing, but no pain.  I should make it a point to recommend my anesthesiologist to get a raise, haha!

About 4ish pushes later, at 10:32pm, Sawyer Nathan Clark was in my arms!

All I could say over and over was, "Hi! Hi! Hi little guy! Hi! Hi! Hi!"  To have him in my arms immediately after birth was a totally new experience to me as well.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.  With Maverick, they had to whisk him away immediately because he was having trouble breathing from being in the birth canal for so long.  I got to help clean Sawyer off and rub him until he made his first cry, which was indescribable.

Sawyer Nathan Clark

7 lb 12 oz, 20 inches

Both Robbie and I thought right away he looked so tiny!  We thought for sure he was only going to be like 6 pounds.  I guess your baby size awareness gets uncalibrated when you're used to a bigger than average sized 3 year old. :)

The very best part of the evening was Skyping with my parents.  My Mom wanted to be at the hospital so very badly, but as time went by and her condition progressed we knew that wouldn't be a possibility.  So we set up Skype on my Dad's tablet and we video chatted shortly after Sawyer was born.  Man, technology is amazing and I feel so blessed to be alive at a time when instant video chatting is easily accessible. 

The first thing I told my Mom was, "You were right!! You were right!!  Look at all his dark hair!!"  I guess it was about a month or so before I was due when my Mom told me that she had a dream about Sawyer, and that she saw him vividly in her dream.  She told me that he had lots of dark hair and he looked like me when I was a baby.  At the time I was like, "Ummm sure Mom, whatever..." and kept it in the back of my mind.

...It's almost too hard to type this now...I have a huge painful lump in my throat and tears are running down my face...I just don't even have words.  He has tons of dark hair and everyone, specifically those that knew me as a baby say, "he is Jenni made over". My Mom was so anxious to meet Sy, and one of her biggest concerns was to see him born and hold him.  I don't know why God allowed her to see Sawyer in her dream, and won't know for sure until I'm in Heaven.  But I do believe that she did.  Maybe it was God comforting her and giving her strength to endure until He called her home exactly 2 weeks after he was born?  .......  In any case, I do fully believe that God can speak to ordinary people in their dreams.

In God's perfect timing, Sawyer came 2 weeks early.  If I would have gone to my due date, I would have still been in the hospital when Mom lost consciousness.

Every chance we could, we visited her.  We had to schedule around chemo and radiation, and keep in mind how exhausted she was from the unprecedented treatments.  But she was adamant that nothing was going to stop her from seeing her grandbabies! :) 

 

 

 

Her Mommy words of wisdom have been resonating in my mind.  Even before we got pregnant with Sawyer, I would gab with my Mom about how I was nervous to have another baby.  I felt like I wouldn't be able to handle a toddler and a newborn, since life was already pretty crazy (or so it seemed) with Mav.  To calm my fears (and guarantee another grandbaby, haha) she would always say, "You'd be surprised what you can do.  You'll figure it out."



I don't know if Sawyer is an easier baby, or if I'm just not nearly as stressed out about taking care of a newborn this time...but taking care of both my boys has been a relatively smooth transition.  Maybe it all started off on the right foot since Sy "gave" Mav a big brother present at the hospital--a Lego garbage truck. :)

   
Mav has been a super awesome big brother.  He is so loving toward him and is always saying things like, "Aw, look at that pretty baby" and "Baby Sawyer don't cry".  Often when I leave the room and come back, Mav is trying to snuggle with him.  He asks me all the time to lay the baby next to him while he is playing on the floor so they can play together.

For me, it only gets difficult when both boys need something at the same time.  While I'm trying to nurse the baby, Mav is usually begging for me to play with him or get him food.  I wonder if I'm the only mom who has nursed a baby while playing Connect Four?  Lol!  And you know what else I've figured out?  The baby is okay if he cries until I tend to Mav's needs first, and Mav is okay if he cries until I tend to the baby's needs first. 

I just figure it out. 

Ok baby, anytime now!

The title of this post is a little deceiving.  I'm not completely wishing for my pregnancy to be over with...yet. Ha! Plus, this is the last time I plan on being pregnant, so I don't want to wish the awesome feeling of it away. I know the more time baby spends in there, the better!  Also, babies are WAY easier to take care of in utero, haha! Middle of the night feedings only consist of me waddling to the fridge for a bite of cheese.  :)

At the same time, I miss having my body to myself.  Things like: being able to tie my shoes without concentrated effort...not having to go pee every 10 minutes...sitting down/standing up/laying down/rolling over/moving in general without pain and being out of breath.  Also, the glares I won't miss.  The "I'm trying to look sympathetic but you just look miserable" look, ha!  At least my waddling self has scored a few trips to the front of the line at a few places now.

Maverick seems pretty stoked to become a big brother.  He knows that any day now little "Doyer" will be coming out of mommy's tummy.  He tells me all the time the things he is going to teach him--playing monster trucks, playing cars, playing trains, lots of playing planned!  Although I told him it will take some time for him to grow big enough to play with him, he could still show him.  Tonight Mav saw some pictures of a new baby in the hospital someone had posted on Robbie's FB, and Mav curled up with Robbie's iPad to look at them--and went "awe!" at every single picture.  I think that's a good sign people, haha!

I have been SOOOO bad about using my phone to document growth pictures during this pregnancy.  Shame on me!  I guess it wouldn't be a good excuse to say that I've had my big camera charged and packed away for the hospital bag for a while now.  I was glancing at some in just the past month-ish, and it's amazing how much growing has gone on.

This was taken October 10th (roughly 33-34 weeks).

And I took this last night, November 8th (roughly 37-38 weeks).  Lol, Mav was going a little nuts back there.  Just a few moments before I snapped the pic, he was trying to climb into the crib and jump off!

So here is the down-low (pun intended according to everyone at work telling me that I've dropped) on The Sy currently:

Monday (the 5th) was my most recent doctor visit, but the week prior to that I was measuring 3cm dilated and 50% effaced.  Quick side note--my SIL Johanna said something to me a few weeks ago that I wished I would've taken as advice.  She said that she didn't want the doc to tell her what (if any) progress she was measuring at the end of her pregnancy, to avoid the mind game.  Gosh, I wish I would've done the same! 

So this past Monday, I was measuring 4cm dilated and 60% effaced.  According to hospital admission standards, that's active labor people!!!  Which is SOOOO crazy to me because I don't feel anywhere near "active" labor.  Actually, it's all crazy to me.  I never had this experience with Mav's pregnancy because my water broke with him, with no prior contractions or anything.

I can't imagine that almost a week ago, I "technically" could've gone into the hospital and said, "Let's do this!" and probably gotten induced or something.  But I want my body to be ready, when it's fully ready.  In the meantime, Sawyer has been torturing me with round after round of contractions that progress then stop...little stinker! :)

Take today for instance.  Completely new physiological symptoms today, and I thought for sure I would be having the baby sometime this evening.  Lots and lots of lower back ache/pain and sharp abdominal cramps radiating from side to side, even after drinking water and changing positions.  Indegestion/unsettled stomach, too.  (Can't say enough how stinking awesome it is to have a SIL who is a doula!!  I've been texting/calling her so much in the past few days I feel guilty for not paying her for services!)

And yet now (at past midnight) all the aches and pains have dulled, and I'm back to the Braxton-Hicks contractions that aren't painful but make your entire stomach get really round and hard.  (weirdest feeling ever, by the way)

So we wait.  Since I'm only 38 weeks on Sunday, way not desperate enough yet to try natural labor inducers, haha!  (even in the most desperate hour, castor oil is definitely not on the menu!)


In the meantime....let's talk poop!  Oh mercy.

Poor Maverick has been battling some sort of digestional tract issue.  And I wouldn't be concerned except that it's been over a week of...errr, well the squirts; and he was just battling the same thing not quite a month ago.  Not that Mav has even come close to being in critical condition, but in some parts of the world it's pretty intense to think that children die of diarrhea.  So thankful for access to medical help!

The issue that was exacerbating it was Mav's love of milk.  The kid LOVES milk.  Prefers it to anything, ever, at anytime, ha!  Dairy is an awful, awful irritant of diarrhea--no matter the underlying issue.  Until I could figure out how to replace it, I was watering down his milk and adding powder probiotics like those found in yogurt.

Annnnnyways, so a couple things.  One--we are now on day 2 of fully switched to almond milk.  (which I find funny that it's called milk...it's just crushed almonds in water with a bunch of good nutrients added, ha!)  Mav loves it just as much as regular milk, woo hoo!  I think no matter what ends up being the cause of his ailment, we are keeping the switch.  Not to outlaw milk totally (unless it ends up being a lactose/dairy allergy)--just what Mav regularly consumes.  It's just SO much healthier!

Two--I have an even higher respect for lab technicians.  Like, waaaaay higher.  This is what my mornings have consisted of the past couple of days, with tomorrow morning hopefully being the last time.

The doctor wants to first rule out a bacterial infection and/or a parasite.  Eeeeew, a parasite!!!  He's never had a fever...so my thought is that those aren't the case...but I'm not exactly knowledgeable on fever to parasite/bacteria relationships, haha!

See all these lovely little tubes?  I have had to fill a set of these every day, for three days.  And guess what?!  It get's better.  The samples have to be frozen until they are taken to the lab.  Frozen in a freezer.  Our freezer.  Eeek!

Each set of tubes gets zipped into a baggy, which gets zipped into a biohazard baggy.  And then I put that biohazard baggy in a series of plastic bags...oh let's say in the neighborhood of 8 layers (my personal comfort level)...to store in our freezer.  And even then I'm going to need a lot of antibacterial spray once we're done, ha!

So the lovely men and women of laboratories everywhere--I am so grateful that you are awesome enough to like studying this stuff and handling everyone's poop!

If all those come back negative, then it's exploring a possible food allergy or lactose intolerance.  Which, I have a hard time wrapping my head around...only because the kid has been ingesting dairy products for a couple of years now without problem.  But they do say you can develop allergies as well as get rid of allergies over time.

Or maybe it's nothing to worry about, and we won't run into this again.  Haha, who knows?!

Never a dull moment around here! :)

  

Time

Time is such a complex thing for me right now.  It tethers us here on this Earth.  It defines us.  We mark the very first moment of life, and our last breath with it.  On our gravestone, our entire existence is defined by 2 dates...with a dash in between.  Crazy that an entire lifetime is defined as one dash.  One tiny little dash.

As a Christian, it's always been difficult for me to wrap my head around God's omnipotence.  How is it possible that He is outside of time?  I know that He doesn't expect, or need me to understand how He works.  He just needs me to Trust in Him.  And I do.  With all my heart...even though it's kicking and screaming sometimes.

Right now I'm kicking and screaming for many reasons.  Never, ever, ever, could I have imagined that I would have to watch my mom endure an aggressive cancer overwhelming and ravaging her body.  To witness how the very medicines that are trying to stop it from growing are making her so fragile and weak. I scream at God that it's not fair, that it shouldn't happen to her--my precious and sweet Mother.  My Mom who has been (and still is) an unwavering beacon of faith my whole life.

Time is something I wish I could control. 

I desperately want to speed it up so that my sweet baby boy will be born and here with us (I'm 36 weeks on Sunday); especially so that my mom can see & hold him.  However, with every minor pain or small contraction I plead for him to stay in there longer because at this exact moment, while Mom is still in the hospital, she wouldn't be able to.

I desperately want to slow time down.  With each day that passes, that's another day closer to losing my mom.  However, this is true for everyone.  It's just more visible for us--the path.  It's an odd thing when someone close to you is diagnosed with a terminal illness.  You don't want a time frame to define things--and you don't let it or focus on it.  At the same time, it makes you cherish every single moment with that person.  Like taking pictures and video of the most mundane things; eating a favorite meal with them; cherishing a phone call; embracing a hug.  In a way, it's a blessing.  There are so many people who wish they would've known it would be the last time to do something with their loved one.

I cling to the truth that God never intended for pain, sickness, and death to invade this Earth.  It's the only thing sustaining me right now.  Cancer and it's ugliest manifests were not originally in the plan; our bodies not originally designed to succumb to disease and pain.  But then sin entered the world.

There are no words to describe my heart and feelings of the past 4 months--from her phone call about a sore throat to now laying in a hospital hooked up to machines.  But I know that God loves me, my mom, and everyone more than we could love ourselves; more than we can love others.  As great and agonizing as my pain is, God's is greater.  For He created us in His image, and loves us so much more than we can fathom.

And He promises that one day it will be all be right again.  There WILL be no more pain, sickness, death, or sorrow.  No more wrestling with time.  No more limitations set by these bodies.  All because Jesus paid the price for that sin entering the world.  All we have to do is believe.

One of my biggest trepidations is for someone to see that our prayer requests for my mom's healing from cancer are not being heard or answered by God.  That--in their eyes--they would only see God turning His back since her cancer is actually growing.

That's not the case, He hasn't turned His back.  His answer is just different than the one we are asking for--and I'm not saying that I don't struggle with that on a daily basis.  But I do know He is the one carrying us through this trial and I have to trust in Him.  For reasons that I will probably never know while I'm on this Earth--this is His plan for our family. 

In ALL things I want to glorify the Lord.  From the greatest of joys to the gut wrenching despairs.

When I'm weak, He is strong.

An Extraordinary Ordinary Night

Tonight was just one of those nights that I don't ever want to forget.

About a week ago when it looked all but certain that the Cardinals would be playing in the inaugural Wild Card Game, my mom and I were already planning our traditional family Cards game party.  For all the big ones--Opening Day, All Star Game, Playoffs; and all the little ones in between during the season; our tradition is enjoying Cecil Whittakers Pizza and watching the game.  Opening Day is usually celebrated at the restaurant, and we bring it home for the Playoffs because we can get kinda rowdy...make that really rowdy, ha!

Cardinals baseball is such an integral part of our family.  It's kinda hard to explain...it is...and it isn't so much about the actual game.  Everyone shares the same excitement and love for it, and rattling off all sorts of quirky stats and such. 

The best thing about it all, is the memories we make.  Every family has that one special thing.  Ours is Cardinals baseball.

Going into tonight, I knew I wasn't going to be too upset if they lost.  I cared more about spending time with my mom, and the rest of our family.  Just the opportunity to all be together, and to not take for granted the time we have.  The one thing I forgot about, was that my mom had chemotherapy scheduled today.  I knew she had another treatment soon, but couldn't quite remember when.  So when she called to say they would be late getting home due to a longer than normal chemo session, I felt bad for forgetting.  I didn't want her to feel like we had to keep our plans, I wanted her to be able to come home and relax.  But she was adamant about still having our little party, and told us to let ourselves into their house and they'd meet us there.

Her only hesitation was having Maverick see her for the first time with her new hairdo.  In less than a week, it had all pretty much fallen out.  She was so apprehensive about upsetting Mav, and cared so much about HIS feelings, just like the best grandma that she is.

This was just last Saturday, when Mav went over to their house to pick his pumpkin out of my Dad's garden.  He was so excited to bring it inside and show Grandma!

My Mom is the most brave person I know, and today was a huge step in her journey.  She asked my Dad to shave (buzz) her hair since it was falling out so rapidly.  I know that it didn't come without many tears and heartache.  Even though she knew this day would come, and that it's just a temporary side effect of the medicine, it's incredibly difficult as a woman to lose your hair.

When my mom walked into the house, Mav kinda took a second glance but didn't seem too concerned.  He went right back to playing with his Hotwheels.  A few minutes later, he stood up and went over to her and stared for a little bit longer. 

And then he said, "Grandma fix her hair?"
My mom replied, "Yeah, I fixed my hair."
Mav, "Grandma use the buzzers?"
Mom, "Yep, Grandma used the buzzers.  Do you like it?"
Mav, "Yes!"

And that was that.  Mav and Grandma played with his dump trucks and cars again.  It completely melted my heart.  I was so blessed by how relieved my mom felt, and so blessed by my son's natural ability to look past appearances.

Shortly thereafter my Mom asked if I could take her picture and post it on Facebook.  I think she was just really ready to get the big reveal out of the way--it was important for her and dealing with the enormity of it all.  I am so proud of her!!!  Love you so much Momma! 

The rest of the night we spent on pins and needles watching the most crazy, crazy, playoff game ever.  (My Dad is still arguing that it was NOT a playoff game.  He refuses to accept the new Wild Card system, ha!)  Mav was having an awesome time watching all the adults in his life yell at the tv, haha!  He also had SO much fun playing with Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Robyn.  His little cheeks were pink from all the excitement.

I'm not one to think that sports games are all that important to God.  At least, not in the way that we'd hope while we're pleading for our team to win in the most desperate moment.  But I do know that God loves us in an incredible way, and that He cares about the things we care about.  Like I said, I knew tonight would be great even if the Cards lost.  An evening full of amazing family memories.  But maybe...just maybe...God helped us out a little bit more than the Braves on behalf of my mommy. ;) 

30 weeks and 5 days

Let's just round up to 31, ok? Haha! That would mean I'm in the last week of my 7th month, with a little over 9 weeks to go, agh!!! Who am I kidding...I'm pretty sure I won't make it to 40. At least going by my first pregnancy experience. With Mav I was put on bed rest for 6 weeks before my due date because of early dilation, and he chose to arrive a week early. Crazy though--if I go 1 day overdue, Sawyer and Maverick will have the same birthday!

I really don't want to get addicted to using mobile devices for photos, since the quality isn't that great and I have an awesome camera. But I thought trying to take a belly picture today with Robbie's iPad would be fun.  (Old news if you are friends with me on Facebook, haha!)

The official last draft of "things to do before the baby is born" is posted to the refrigerator.  The goal is to have everything checked off by November 1st, just to be on the safe side.  The list is mostly little things like washing the carseat cover, setting up the bassinet in our room, packing hospital bags, etc.  I'd also really like to premake and freeze some meals, just so that fast food isn't always on the menu the first couple of weeks.

I went to the doctor this past Tuesday, and the little guy's heartbeat was joyful, as always, to listen to.  It was in the 140s-low 150s range.  He is still head down, and I hope it stays that way!  He kicks my rib cage constantly, so I'll know if he turns, ha!  My doc was late for my appointment because she was delivering another patient--so exciting!  Pretty soon it will be our turn. :)

We have an ultrasound scheduled in a couple weeks, and I'm so excited to see how much Sawyer has grown!  It's been a long time since our last one.  I was spoiled with Mav because I was going twice a week for an ultrasound & NST the last 2 months of that pregnancy due to the early dilatation and gestational diabetes.

At almost 31 weeks, these are the big things:

--Leg cramps...UGH!  Specifically my calves.  I get the most intensely painful charlie horses during the night, and the muscles are still sore the next day.  I've been loading up on bananas, staying hydrated, stretching the muscles, etc.  I've noticed that they are the worst if I'm sleeping on my back, so I prop pillows to keep my laying on my side.

--Heartburn.  The other day it was an apple that kept it lingering.  An apple!!!

--Fatigue.  Gone is the energy of the 2 trimester for sure.  I find myself nodding off the most random times of the day.  Preparation for those feedings through the night!

--Lots of baby movement!  I was keeping myself and my coworkers entertained during a really boring meeting the other day by placing things on my tummy and watching him move them around.  Haven't really noticed a definite sleep/awake pattern yet. 

--Itchy, itchy skin.  My skin is sooooo dry.  I keep gallons of lotion handy for my hands, legs, and tummy.  My poor tummy has been so itchy from dryness and stretch marks that it actually bleeds sometimes.  Eeek!

--I know this is horrible, but I'm already looking forward to losing weight.  I say it's horrible because I don't want to rush it.  I love the incredible feeling of having this life inside me, and I'm so very blessed.  But at the same time...I miss my clothes.  I'm ready to not feel like a balloon in an over sized t-shirt.

With all that said, more than anything I'm SO anxious to meet our little boy!!!!  I can't wait to see what he looks like.  Will he look like Mav?  Will he look completely different?  Is he going to have lots of hair, or none at all?  How big (or little) will he be? 

We can't wait to meet you little Sawyer!!!

The past few weeks or so...

This is looking like it's going to be a long post, so go grab your favorite beverage and a comfy seat, haha!  That's what happens I guess when you slack on blogging.  Oh well.  :)

Like everything that is this blog, this post is no different.  Just a bunch of mundane...yet big stuff...that I want to have help remembering someday.  It's one of my favorite ways to record family memories.

Maverick had his first Parents As Teachers visit of the new school year last week, and we officially started Sawyer too!  PAT does provide prenatal counseling, so it was fun to do that in our visit as well.  For Mav, we set our goals for the new school year, and reflected on the ones we set for last year.  This year we set 2 goals: fully potty trained and sharing toys.  Pretty big things for an almost 3 year old, ha!  He is a pretty good share-er, but there's always room for improvement.

Mrs. Sally (named changed) brought with her this little animal hospital.  All the doors were a different color, and the only way to unlock them was to use the corresponding color key.  Only my son would hold up the wrong key color--on purpose--and laugh about trying to use the wrong key to open the door.  He'd say, "Nooooooh, wrong one!"  Eventually the lure of the little animals inside was too irresistible, and he would use the right key.  Oh man...every teacher's dream student, haha!

This little guy is something else I tell ya.  But my wonderful little guy. :)  (He wanted to use his giant crayon that is a piggy bank to color with, ha!)

On the potty front, I think we've finally cornered a big twist.  He's been great about getting on (and going) when asked.  But he's never vocalized when he feels like he needs to get changed...which leads to vocalizing when he feels the need to go potty.  So, so, so many times I'd leave his diaper off and it wouldn't phase him in the slightest when he wet himself.  Until now!  When he goes #2, he tells us right away that he wants to get changed.  Progress! 

I know I'm setting an unrealistic expectation, but I want to focus hardcore on potty training during my maternity leave.  It will be the only large chunk of time that I will be at home all day to keep things consistent.  Let's hope it goes well!

It would be awesome if he could learn to potty train as fast as he learned to navigate the internet.  Yep.  That's right--the internet.  Scary, huh?!  Haha!  One afternoon I went on the Thomas and Friends website.  Mav was next to me and asked to play one of the games.  I was like, "Sure!  You don't know how to use a mouse...so go for it!"

Not only did he teach himself how to correctly click with the mouse, but also to use the arrow keys simultaneously to play a game.  Ummm, okay?!  10 minutes later he figured out how to navigate the entire website, and could choose different games to play.  Yeah...um, yeah.  And Thomas' website leads to pbskids.org.  So he can navigate that site too.  Crazy, crazy!

The other day I just happened to snap a few pictures of Mav napping, and I'm so glad I did since it ended up being one of the last times he slept in his crib/toddler bed.

Also, on what ended up being his last night in that bed, he was having a rough night and I ended up laying next to him on the floor for most of the night.  That is way out of the norm, but I think he was having nightmares.  Just kind of a heart warming memory to have. :)

One of the last huge pieces of things-to-do-before-the-baby-is-born, was to move Mav into a bigger bed so we could convert his bed back into the crib.  We've been shopping around for weeks, but never found anything in our price range that was also what we wanted.  Until yesterday!!  We found an awesome twin mattress (way too comfy for a toddler, ha!) for a great price.  We're just doing a twin mattress on the floor to start, and then add a frame later.

Even though we plan on the baby sleeping next to our bed for the first few months, we didn't want to make the switch after he arrives.  That way Mav doesn't feel like his bed was stolen, haha.  So not only was Mav SUPER excited about his new bed, he helped us take his old bed into the baby's room without us asking.

I distracted Mav long enough for Robbie to bring the mattress into his room.  Then I said, "Mav, your big boy bed is here! Today is the day!"  (we've been talking to him about it for a while)  This was his reaction:

Mav was jumping with excitement while daddy cut off all the plastic.

I kid you not, this was the first thing he did when it was time to test it out.  So precious! ;)

And then--the most important test: it's trampoline ability, ha!

I have to admit, I got teary eyed.  My sweet little baby is now sleeping on a twin mattress!  Oh my gosh time flies...  It's a good thing we have another baby on the way to fill the crib, haha!  I don't know what I'm going to do when Sawyer gets too big for the crib/toddler bed.  Probably make him sleep in it until he breaks. :)

Later on we all went together to buy some sheets and a new pillow.  Mav didn't really care two cents about which color or design of sheets.  He was more interested in playing hide & seek in the aisle.  His friends Carolina and Elizabeth taught him how to play the other night at Aunt Jo & Uncle Jon's new place, and ever since that's all he wants to play.

Now the task of rearranging his room and going through that giant toy box.  A lot of his baby toys are on the bottom, so those will eventually make their way to Sawyer's room. 

Okay, last thing on the updated blog agenda: progress on Sawyer's room!  This has been quite the process.  Mostly because we were storing a ton of junk in there.  And it's only taken the excitement of a new baby to motivate us to go through it all, and organize our storage.  Not only have we organized that room--but also our basement!!!  Miracles do happen!

Here's what his room looked like to begin with (no judgemental eyes please, lol!).  Actually, this was after we had already removed some stuff...

View of the other side of the room.  The book shelves are still there, I have no idea how I'm gonna organize all of those.  It's a mix of all my favorite books from my childhood (my parents saved them, woo hoo!) and children's books I get all the time from work.  The library in the elementary school I work in goes through their inventory twice a year, and staff gets first pick before they donate the rest.  It's SOO dangerous for me, ha!

This is how it has looked for a few weeks.  Not too terrible, but still some work.  Also, as we took stuff out of the room--we brought in baby storage. :)  I washed & folded all my newborn-6 month clothing, and put it in the closet.  Loved, loved, LOVED that part!

The closet is (for the most part) is actually cleaned out!!  Except my wedding dress.  Still figuring that one out.  But now we can put the baby clothes in there.  That itty, bitty camo jacket hanging up was Mav's first jacket. :)

This is what his room looks like today!!  Still need to move a few things in there, and add little details...but for the most part...ready for a baby!

Maverick did climb in the crib...but he was only wanting to bounce on it like a trampoline.  He keeps saying it's a baby bed for Sawyer and that he has a big boy bed.  Let's hope he doesn't try to bounce on it while Sawyer is laying in there! ;)

I'm officially 29 weeks today.  Not too much longer, which is still just so unfathomable to me!  I'm going to have 2 sons!

27 weeks today

With the 3rd trimester coming next week, I just wanted to spend a short moment writing little things down to remember about this pregnancy.  Little things that make it so special, but are easy to forget down the road.

--Weight gain overall: about 11 or 12 pounds.  At my last appointment my doctor mentioned that I had only gained 1 pound last month, so she wanted to see it start going up.  Enjoying the sound of that, because I know it will be the last time to hear that from a doctor!

--It's funny that my doctor said that I need to start gaining weight on pace, because I feel huuuuuuge.  Like, my tummy skin hurts.  And I have no idea how it's going to hold up for roughly 13 more weeks!  I slather all sorts of lotions on it all day and that seems to help.

--Also funny: that random strangers think I'm going to give birth any moment.  Their jaws drop when I tell them I'm not due until November.  The end of November. 

--I think I'm just going to start wearing a shirt that says my due date so I can avoid the awkward conversation.

--Sawyer has been moving like crazy, crazy, crazy!  It's fun to just sit and watch my stomach move all by itself.  Kinda creepy...but fun.  I like to set the remote control or the iPad on my tummy and watch him move it around.  Again, since I feel like my skin is going to burst any moment it's a little painful.

--Two words: LEG CRAMPS!  It's like clockwork to have them wake me up in the middle of the night.  To make them stop I have to get out of bed and do calve stretches.  Ouch.

--Increasing hip/pelvic pain.  Should only get worse from here, haha. 

--Everytime I stand up, I feel like I need to go potty.  Baby is sure running out of room in there!

--Speaking of standing up, it is increasingly difficult to do so, ha! Especially from sitting on the floor. :)

--Food!!!  I've definitely hit the 1st breakfast, 2nd breakfast, 1st lunch, 2nd lunch, 1st dinner, and 2nd dinner schedule. (fans of "The Office" should hopefully get that)

--When I wake up in the middle of the night with a leg cramp, I'm ever so tempted to go eat something.  It seems like I'm always hungry.

--Cravings/favorite foods: Mexican!  Hmmm...and steak.  And pasta.  And coffee.

--Huge praise to the Lord: I do NOT have gestational diabetes!!!!!  In so, so, so many ways I'm thankful.  God knew that I would need one less thing to be concerned with right now.

--Now that delivery day is on the horizon, I'm starting to feel a little apprehensive.  I keep praying for a safe delivery.  I'm just a little freaked out because of what happened with Mav.  He was stuck in the birth canal for a while, and they were trying just about everything to get him out.  Thankfully, just before they were going to use the vacuum, he made it out.  But he was in distress.  It seemed like an eternity before I heard him cry.  And the fetal heart specialist had to rush in.  One of the scariest moments of my life.  Thankfully he recovered well and didn't have to go to the NICU or anything.  Praying that Sawyer makes a lot less dramatic (and faster) appearance.

--Totally still aren't no where near ready for the baby to arrive.  I think at this point with Mav, we had the nursery set up and were pretty much ready to go.  Not only do we still need to get Mav a bigger bed so we can convert his bed back into the crib for the baby, but the room that we had cleaned out for the nursery has accumulated some stuff again.  All the baby clothes are still in the basement.  Agh!  Good thing we have the pack 'n play...

In short, life has come to a screeching halt this past week.  I feel like I can't blog about it yet.  It's just too much in too many ways.  Taking each moment as it comes, as it is all I (and my family) can do right now.  In all, I continually seek God for refuge.  I am so thankful for my parents and what they have instilled in me, and how much I see Christ in them during this trial.

Just as a short update for those who may not know, and who can join us in prayer: my Mom has been diagnosed with advanced angiosarcoma.  It is a very rare, and aggressive cancer.  Less than 1% of all cancer patients have been diagnosed with this type.  Please pray for my family during this difficult time.

Praising God in the highs and lows...we want Him to be glorified.